ED watch out!!! :D the Ganache Elf is back and she has a Plan of Action... :) xxx

Polka dots, Morokia, volunteering...and that faithful, chocolate-splattered Kenwood Mixer of legend... ;)

Yes, these are just SOME of the tools I have at my disposal...in my quest to overcome my relapse and forever silence ED...

My plan of action against ED. :D

1.To make a concise meal plan and stick to it every day, NO exceptions.

Designate a particular time of the week (for me I think it will be on one of my hot choc breaks at the weekend! ;) ) to plan out my meals and snacks (I have ANOTHER new noteook for this purpose, this one has polka dots on it...my little catty one has gone walkies somewhere in my room so I had to get another one!! :o ). Let  Mam know what I would like her to get for me when she goes grocery shopping (I used to go with her but I have college friday mornings now :'( ), vary what I eat so I don't get bored of anything and lured into just having "safe" foods.

And of course, one of the most essential components of my meal plan = LOTS of hot choc!!! ;)

2. Make my own list of rules...which are essentially are reversal of the ED ones :)
I will tell you more about this in a separate post as it is a very good and helpful technique I think, for going against the ED voice and destroying the "rules£ that it makes for us, in their various forms.

3. Bake my own snacks so that I will be more motivated to get back into the routine of snacking regularly.
Yesssssss, what better excuse to stick to my meal plan and eat my snacks?? Because by doing so, I will give myself the perfect reason to bake and mess around with my beloved Kenwood Mixer to my heart's content. In a nutshell: eating my snacks and keeping to meal plan = more baking and I will of course post all recipes/photos on here, rest assured.. ;)

4. Make sure I make time for my hobbies and interests and for spending time with people who make me feel happy and loved. <3
I'm going to start volunteering here at home (an hour a week, visiting an elderly person in Mountmellick to keep them company and give them someone to talk to); keeping up my blogging and maybe Morokia over Christmas if I have time; make time for baking, walking Benny, knitting, and meeting a friend for a chat over hot choc - just some of the things I am going to do in order to keep me busy and occupied and distracted from the ED voice.

5. Talk back to the ED voice when it tries to sway me off track again.

Talking back to the Voice: an example dialogue...

ED. No, you don't need your snack...get out the packet of biscuits, take them out of the packet...but then just wrap them in a tissue when no one is looking, and throw them away...then they will be none the wiser...

And the past few weeks, it's true; I went along with what that Voice was telling me, agreeing with what it said, not putting up any fight. Deceiving my loved ones and throwing away food; not eating, even though my stomach felt empty and all I could think about, focus on was what i wanted so badly to eat...but the Voice said, no, you cannot; you shall not, you will not.

But now, I am determined to talk back to that voice: take up a defiant stance. And in that moment of resistance I know I will find my strength.

And so, let's write out the new dialogue.

ED: You CANNOT eat your snack.

Emmy: No.
I want to have my snack.
Why should you get to decide what I can and cannot eat? What right do you have to dictate to me how I nourish my own body?

                                         yes, I CAN!!!! :D

If I don't eat that snack...

I will just contribute to the weakening of my bones...
I will deprive my body of the vital energy it needs...
And ultimately, it will mean that I am just giving into,..the Voice of Ed...
I will just be costing mam and dad more money, more worry, more heartache.
I will just be wasting yet more and more of my life away, sacrificing each and every day to ED.

So I am going to adopt this approach, when ED tries to persuade me to not stick to my meal plan, to not finish a meal/snack, or to engage in any other ED type behaviours. I think it might help me as well to make little memos and stick them at random in places where I can always see them (ie the top of my laptop screen, my food diary, etc. just random stuff which will help keep me motivated...more on this to follow!!! ;)

6. Set myself daily and weekly goals.
And I will tell you more about this in a later post too. But the main idea of this is to set yourself individual little challenges to complete every day, so that I will be making progress week by week at a rate which is very doable and not too overwhelming. I might try sharing my goals on here as I think that will really help motivate me to accomplish them!! And if you have any suggestions let me know, thank you so so much <3 ;)

7. get as much support and help as I can.
I know I have all my loved ones, friends and readers behind me; and that I should never feel afraid or ashamed to reach out to them when things get tough.

8. Charter my progress and share my experience through my blog.
Blogging has always helped me so, so much with recovery...and in a way, I suppose, when I stopped blogging just before the relapse, that didnt really help me at all; but back then, I was in a bad place and felt too ashamed to write about my struggle. But now I am thinking about things in a different way and, though I am finding it very, very hard to let go of the anger and shame at myself...I'm trying, to move on and find peace with myself. And so I suppose you can say that the Ganache-Elf is back on the blogging scene...and her recovery journey goes on from here. :)

Chase your Dreams...:)

Hi everyone!!!

Just another quick (and exciting!!!) update from Ganache-Elf's HQ (ie. the little blue-tiled kitchen here at Derryguile House!!)

As you all know, baking has always been two of my greatest ever joys. Baking is, to me, more than just a simple hobby for passing the time or as a means of saving money on buying shop-bought produce. No: to me, baking is my passion, a commitment and a source of endless enjoyment, pleasure and creativity. Nothing makes me happier then spending a rainy afternoon up to my elbows in flour in my kitchen, pinny on and wooden spoons and battered Kenwood Mixer at the ready. To me, there is something truly special in seeing the delight on the face of a recipient of my home-baked produce; about that moment when the oven door is opened to reveal a beautiful , golden, risen masterpiece inside; or when those gorgeous, homely smells begin to emit from the kitchen to waft all over the house, tickling tastebuds with their heavenly aromas.

But today, with the help and encouragement of my friends, I have discovered that I can take passion for baking that one step further...

My friends and I went for a little picnic up in the mountains yesterday afternoon, armed with various essentials which we knew were indispensable to the success of our adventure. These included three pairs of worn out runners - which, despite being caked in mud with the Nike swoosh or Adidas stripe long been rendered indistinguishable, had withstood the test of time again and again, never failing us when we chose to don them for such mucky expeditions in field or forest or bog. numerous rain jackets and umbrellas, which, despite the innocent blue serenity which had graced the sky as we had initially departed from the house, we knew all too well we would more than likely need upon our journey. you don't really go walking in Ireland without a rain jacket. Not even if its in the middle of the summer, and it feels warm enough outside to wear shorts and a t-shirt: no. it just isn't the done thing, to refrain from bringing rain jackets on a walk in Ireland. And then, of course, there was the most essential item of all. The picnic. ;)

Our picnic consisted of various baked delights, including a freshly-baked crown loaf which I had whipped up earlier that morning, wrapped securely in a tea towel and bundled onto the back seat of the car. With that we had cheeses and peanut butter and tomatoes, and fruit and nuts and of course...sweet things. Oat cookies and cupcakes of various flavours. And it tasted so, so good.

And as we sat at the little picnic table, with the wind gentle rustling the leaves of the beech trees which formed a shady, spring-green canopy above our heads, it suddenly occurred to me - to us, even - that perhaps, I can make all my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations for the future, all come true...

Starting with one that has remained with me for a long, long time, ever since that day when I first put on my little white apron with the canaries on it - the very same apron which I still wear today, with its chocolaty stains and all - and discovered for myself joy, the excitement, the magic of home-baking...

This dream being, of course, to have my very own little baking business, in which I design, bake, and decorate my own edible creations!!! 

And since everyone has to start somewhere, today I set up a little Facebook page called My Cocoa Stained Apron, from which I will be able to provide information and pricing and let people know about my little business. And yes I know, that it might not come to anything, but. I believe that if you have a dream you should follow your heart and chase it...

Be stronger than your excuses; be braver than your fears.

Never, ever stop believing; don't ever lose hope.

Chase your Dreams!! <3 xxx

Dappled cupcakes!!:)

Yes!!! Yet MORE cupcakes were made in the kitchen of Ganache-Elf today!! And you know, the best thing about these is, that they look ever so exquisite, with a delightful, dainty prettiness to them which makes them all but irresistible to anyone who you might consider lucky enough to ask to sample one of your heavenly delights - well, despite all of that, they are remarkably simple to make, and don't need any pricey ingredients. Just check to see if you have some little choccies in the house for decorating!! ;) I used cadbury dairy milk buttons, but it is, of course, entirely up to you which ones you use - as is the way which you choose to apply the most heavenly concocoction ever created by humankind, surely (that being GANACHE of courese. ;) to your buns. Swirls? Smiley faces? A polka dot or chessboard patterns? The possibilities are as endless as your imagination!! Ganache in itself, once mastered, is never really any hardship to make - don't let the fancy-sounding name fool you if you are unfamiliar with the delights of ganache-making. But anyway, never fear - the recipe is included below complete with Ganache-making instructions!! ;)

• 125 g butter/margarine, softened
• 150 g caster sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 150 g self-raising flour
• About 1 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp vanilla essence/extract
• 2 tsp milk 

For the ganaches...

• 4 tbsp single cream
• 100g white chocolate, chopped
• 100 ml single cream
• 100g plain chocolate, chopped
• a few chocolate dairy milk buttons (or whatever small chocolates you prefer )

Method:)

• Preheat the oven to 180c/fan 160. Line a muffin pan with 12 muffin cases.
• Beat the butter or margarine in a bowl until really soft, then add the sugar, the eggs, and the flour. beat well for about 2 minutes until smooth and well blended.
• Transfer half the mixture to a clean bowl and add the vanilla essence to one of them.
• 
  
• Distribute alternative spoonfuls of the different coloured batters amongst the 12 paper cases, filling them about three quarters full. When you're done, take a little thin skewer and swirl it round in each case to get that gorgeous, swirly marbled effect.
• Bake the cupcakes for about 17-20 minutes, until well-risen and springy to the touch - if you press the top of one gently with a fingertip, it should spring back. If an indention is left bake for a few more minutes and then test again.
• Leave in the muffin pan for about two or three minutes, and then move to a wire rack to cool. While they are cooling make the ganaches, starting with the dark chocolate ganache. ;)
• Make the dark choc ganache by melting the 100g plain chocolate with 100 ml single cream, on a very low heat in a small saucepan. Stir until smooth and then refrigerate for about 1 ½ - 2 hours, checking after 1 ½ hours…you don’t want it very hard, just a nice spreadable consistency.
• Next make the white choc ganache: in a small heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water, melt the white choc with the 4 tbsp single cream. Stir now and again and watch it very closely – the white choc will temper easily if it is overheated. As soon as the choc has melted remove from the heat and stir until nice and smooth. Refrigerate for about 1 hour – 1 ½ hours, checking after an hour, until the ganache is thicker and more spreadable.
• When the cupcakes are completely cold, decorate them with the two ganaches...in whatever way you heart desires. To get swirls or rosettes of course, you will need an icing bag or small piping bag fitted with a star-shaped nozzle. I created flowerheads and circular patterns upon my own batch, and then added a few buttons to some of them. Very pretty, very cute, and very, very yummy, of course. <3 xxx

A Beautiful Bloomer!:)

Today I made a beautiful "bloomer" of white yeast bread, which we enjoyed sliced into thick slabs alongside cold chicken, salad and cheese for a scrumptious supper this evening. Bloomers are so fun to make and are a good place to start if you are new to breadbaking as it is easy enough to shape. And of course it tastes absolutely heavenly (as if any fresh bread ever did not ;) ) and can be utilised in so many different ways. You could have it served as an accompaniment to pasta, meat dishes, risottto: oryou could have it simply as it is with peanut butter or jam or Nutella; or you could save some for toasting the next day. Whichever way you decide to savour your bread, I can assure you it will be bloomin' lovely! :)

You will need...

• 450 g strong white bread flour. I use Hovis or Odlums. :)
• 7 g sachet fast-action yeast/1 1/2 tsp instant yeast.
• 1 tbsp caster sugar.
• 1 tsp salt.
• 3 tbsp olive oil/melted butter, plus extra for greasing.

1. Sift the flour and salt into a mixing bowl and add the sugar. Stir together and then stir in the yeast as well. Make a little well in the centre.
2. Measure out 300 ml tepid water ina measuring jug. I usually use two thirds cold water from the tap, and then the other third from a recently boiled kettle. It needs to be warm, but not hot to the touch: you should be able to comfortably stick your fingers in it. 
3. Pour the olive oil/melted butter into the well in the flour and then add most of the water. Using your hands, mix the flour and the liquid together, stirring and lifting until they start to come together into a soft dough. It shouldn't be too sticky, but it should not be too dry, either: slightly moist to the touch and nice and soft. If it feels too dry and floury add a little more water. Add a very small amount of flour if it feels very sticky. Sprinkle a very small amount of flour on a worksurface.
4. Turn the dough out onto the floured work surface. Now it is time to knead the dough (yayyyy.). You need to do this for roughly about 10 minutes. If you have never kneaded before...don't worry, it's not difficult to master at all. Pin the end of the dough nearest you down with one fist and then take hold of the other end of the dough with your other hand. Keeping the side nearest to you pinned down, stretch the other end of the dough and then fold it in on itself and gather into a ball. Slam it down hard on the surface. Repeat this process over once again - try to settle into a nice rhythm. ;)
5. After 10 minutes or so, your dough should feel smooth, supple and elastic. Oil a clean bowl with some olive oil. Roll the dough into a smooth al and place in the bowl. Cover with greased clingfilm. 
6. Now it's time for your dough's first rising. :) leave it in a warm, draught free spot for about 1 1/2 - 3 hours, depending on how warm the day is. I usually pop mine on the table in the conservatory on a sunny day, or in my kitchen, or by the fire or the radiator if it's cold. It should have doubled in size when it's ready and feel inflated and springy if you gently prod it with your fingertip. 
7. Line a big baking tray with baking paper. Give the risen dough a big punch with your fist to deflate the air. Then scoop it out onto a very lightly floured surface and knead lightly for about 2 minutes. 
8. Gather the dough into a smooth ball, rolling it over and over on the work surface so the sides are smooth and silky. Plump the dough into a roughrugby ball shape. Place on the tray.
9. Cover with greased clingfilm again and leave to rise until it has risen once again and have doubled in size. Be very careful when you life the trays as the risen dough will be very fragile and it is very important you don't knock out any air at this stage!
10. Preheat the oven to 210 c/190 c fan.
11. remove the cling film. Dust the bbloomer with flour.
12. Bake for about 20 mins, until the bloomer is golden brown, risen and cooked. Tap its base an listen for a hollow sound - if it sounds hollow it is ready. remove from the oven once cooked and place on a wire rack to cool.
13. If you like your bread crust seductively soft, wrap the bloomer in a clean tea towel and then place on a wire rack to cool. If you prefer a crisp crust, it helps to put a deep roasting tin at the bottom of the oven before baking, so that steam is created.
14. The bread is best eaten within 24 hours of baking, but in the rare event of there being any leftovers, you can easily freeze any remaining pieces/rolls in tightly-sealed freezer bags; taking them out and heating through in a microwave/preheated oven as required. ;) Or alternatively, leftover bread makes very yummy toast when left overnight! :) xxx

Sultana sponge!! :)

APOLOGIES everyody I haven't done a recipe post for ages..... :o we're going all classic and nostalgic today...remember that fluffy, delicately sweet sponge dripping with some sort of sticky jam that your granny used to make? Last weekend I rustled up my own little version of one, adding some plump sultanas after the mixing stage. this cake is so comfortingly simple to make, and you can whip it up in no time at all, and it's highly likely you will have most of the ingredients in already. Great if you have had a jam-packed day as the Ganache-Elf often does! ;)

Ingredients

• 225 g margarine/butter, softened
• 225 g caster sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 225 g self-raising flour
• A few drops of milk if needed
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 100g sultanas
• About 6-8 tbsp jam (I used raspberry)
• Granulated or icing sugar for dusting 

Method

• Preheat oven to 180c/fan 160c. Grease 2 sandwich tins that are 20 cm in diameter. Line the bases with baking paper.
• Put the margarine, sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder and beat well with an electric mixer for about 3 minutes until smooth and well-blended. After two minutes pause the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a metal spoon or a spatula so it’s all nicely incorporated.
• Spoon up a little of the mixture and let it fall back into the bowl to check that it is of a nice dropping consistency – it should slide easily back into the bowl. Add a few drops of milk if required. Foldin the sultanas with a large metal spoon.
• Divide the mixture equally amongst the two tins and smooth the surfaces with the back of a spoon or a palette knife.
• Bake for about 25 minutes until the sponges are well-risen and springy to the touch when pressed gently with a fingertip: if a slight indentation is left when you remove your fingertip, then bake for another few minutes or so before testing again.
• Remove from the oven and leave in the tins for about three minutes before turning out onto a wire rack. Wait another minute, then gently peel off the baking paper. Leave to cool completely.
• When the sponges are completely cold, spread a generous layer of jam across the top of one of the sponges before placing the other one on top. Sprinkle with a little icing sugar or granulated sugar.

Jammy Dodgers!! :)

A childhood favourite of mine!!! I LOVE jammy dodgers and they always remind me of picnics when Iwas little <3 I dedicate this recipe to a special friend of mine who also shares my love for these delightful little biccies...she showed me a pic of her own and OMG they were exquisite!! Needless to say, mine didn't look quite so professional ;) but there was no compromise on taste though..they were as yummy as I had intended ;)

Ingredients

• 125 g butter, diced
• 160 g plain flour
• Good pinch of salt
• 100g caster sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1large egg yolk
• About half a pot of any jam of your choice – raspberry is the traditional filling and is quite possibly my ultimate favourite ;) but you could try using strawberry, apricot, blackcurrant, blackberry…whichever takes your fancy ;) and for extra prettiness why not use a number of different coloured jams? One point of note, though: smoother jams so generally work better than chunky ones in these biccies!! ;)

Method 

• Sieve the flour and salt into a big bbowl and stir in the sugar.
• Add the diced butter and rub lightly in, using your fingertips, until the mixture ressembbles fine breadcrumbs.
• Make a little well in the centre of the mixture, and then add the egg yolk, pouring the teaspoon of vanilla extract on tip of the egg yolk.
• Gently Draw the flour around the edges of your "well" into the centre where the yolk is. Mix very gently with your hands, until a soft, moist dough is formed. 
• Wrap the ball of dough tightly in clingfilm and then pop it in the fridge for a minimum of half and hour.
• Preheat the oven to 170c/fan 150c. Line three trays (or two large) with bbaking paper.
• Take the dough out the fridge and remove the clingfilm. Cut into two equal sized pieces. Roll out one of the halves, using a rolling pin, between two pieces greaseproof paper, which should both be dusted very lightly with a sprinkling of flour. You should roll it into a neat little oval or rectangle, and the dough should be a thickness of about 5mm.
• Use a 7 cm round cutter, lightly dusted with flour, to stamp out little circles of dough. Gather up the scraps of leftover dough and then roll them out again with the other unrolled half ball of dough. Cut out more circles using the same cutter. In total, I got about 20 little circles. 
• Place 10 of the circles of dough on the baking trays.
• Now you need to cut smaller holes in the centre of the other 10 circles!! Of course if you have a very small cutter (about 2cm  or there abouts in diameter), this is definitely the best thing sto use. I on the other hand am not so fortunate to own such a marvellous baking utensil;) ...so what did I use instead..? The plastic top of a 1 l milk cardboard carton , dipped in flour!! ;)
• Place the "holy" :p cirles on the baking trays too, allowing room between all circles to allow for spreading. ake for 10-15 minutes. When cooked, they should be a very pale golden. The shortbready biscuits will still be slightly soft at first - not too hard or dark in colour - but they will harden as they cool. 
• After about 15 minutes transfer the biccies until a wire rack to cool.
• When the biscuits are cool, (or this can still be done when they are slightly warm, just not too near their removal from the oven as at that point the biscuits will be still quite delicate ) spread a generous dessert spoonful of jam over the top of each on of the shortbread rounds(the ones WITHOUT the little holes at their centre). 
• Sandwich each one of the jam-covered rounds with the remaining shortbread circles (the ones with the little hole at their centre). Sprinkle with a little icing sugar if you like. :) xxx

Cinnamony-Coconutty-Carrot Cake!!! :)

I know I am posting alot of fruity cake type recipes at the moment - I hope this is ok with everyone! ;) The reason for this being is that my granny is over visiting us as we speak and she does needless to say love her fruit cakes ;) And here is the cake I made today - a scrummy moist carrot cake flavoured with a wee bit of coconut and a sprinkling of cinnamon! :)

Ingredients..

• 150 g coarsely grated carrot (I used 2 medium sized carrots. Top the carrots and remove the outer skin before grating them. Dont worry if the amount is a little abbove 150 g of course! :)
• 2 large eggs
• 125 ml sunflower oil
• pinch ofsalt
• 125 g self-raising flour
• 1 heaped tsp ground cinnamon
• 125 g light brown soft sugar
• 25 g dessicated coconut

Method..

• Preheat oven to 180c/160c fan. Grease a 20 cm square cake tin. Line the base with baking paper.
• Sieve the flour, cinnamon and salt into a bowl. Stir in the brown sugar. before you add the sugar, sift through it with your fingers to make sure there are no hard little clumps. Crumble these between your fingers so that they disintegrate into fine grains if you come across any.
• Beat the eggs lightly in a jug. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients. Add the beaten eggs and the oil. Mix well with an electric mixer for about three minutes until well blended. Pause the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl halfway through the mixing to assure it is all nicely incorporated.
• Using a large metal spoon, fold in the grated carrot and the coconut.
• Transfer to the prepared tin. Bake for 20 - 25 minutes, until risen, golden and slightly firm to the touch. 
• Cool in the tin and then cut into 12 (or 9 or 16, depending on how big or small you want them:) ) squares. Once cool , store in an airtight container, preferably in the fridge, and eat within three days. The carrot cake is so moist that it usually doesn't keep as long as other cakes might, especially in warm weather! So be sure to eat it up when it;s still lovely and fresh :)

Lemon-Scented Cherry Cake! :)

So English, so traditional, and so, so delicious...yes, it's the  charming cherry cake of old that everyone knows and loves!!! My take on cherry cake is flavoured with fresh lemon juice and zest for a delightful zingyness and extra moistness. It makes a gorgeous accompaniment to a cup of tea in the afternoon, or served warm with lashings of custard.

Ingredients...

• 200 g margarine/butter, softened
• 200 g caster sugar
• 200 g plain flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 3 large eggs
• 75 g ground almonds
• 200 g glacé cherries
• finely grated zest and juice of one medium lemon

Method :)

• Grease a 20 cm round cake tin. Line the base and sides with non stick baking paper.
• Preheat oven to 160c/fan 140c.
• Rinse the glacé cherries in a sieve under the cold tap. Shake them well and then dry on kitchen paper or with a clean tea towel. Then, quarter the cherries with a sharp knife.
• beat the butter or the margarine in a bowl with an electric mixer until very soft. Add the sugar and continue to beat until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl when you're down and whisk briefly once again so it is all nicely incorporated.
• Beat the eggs lightly in a jug, and then pour about a quarter of the eggs into the creamed butter and sugar. Beat well, and then add another quarter, and beat again. Repeat with the remaining two quarters.
• Put the quartered cherries into a bowl and add the almonds and a good spoon of flour. Mix well.
• Sieve in the remaining flour and the baking powder. fold in gently with a large metal spoon. 
• Add the cherry mixture and fold gently in once more, and then fold in the lemon zest and juice.
• Transfer the batter to the prepared tin.
• Bake for 1 hour -1 hr and 10 minutes. After an hour check to see if it is ready. It should be a deep golden brown colour and a skewer inserted into the centre should come out clean. Be very careful though that it doesn't go too dark. If the skewer comes out clean remove from the oven; if its sticky with batter, return to the oven and check once again in 5-10 minutes.
• Leave in the tin for about 20minutes. Turn out onto a wire rack, peel off the paper and leave to cool.

Spelt bread!! :)

This is a really scrummy, crumbly bread made with wholemeal spelt flour - a flour now widely known for its health benefits, apparently. (as you can tell I am no expert on this! :p). But not only that, it makes a delicious loaf with a distinctive, charecteristic flavour of its very own. Its really nice toasted, or served with some nice smoked fish, or  simply spread with marmalde or jam or peanut butter. 

ingredients :)

• 450 g wholegrain spelt flour
• 2 tsp dried yeast
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp caster sugar
• 30 g softened butter, cubed
• 300 ml tepid water
• a little olive oil

Method :)

• Place the flour in the bowl and add the salt, the sugar and the yeast. Stir together until combined.
• Add the butter and lightly rub in with your fingertips.
• Make a well in the centre of the flour and Pour in most of the water.
• Mix together with your hands to form a soft ball of dough. It shouldn't be too moist, but it shouldn't be too dry either: just soft and slightly smooth to the touch. Anyway, if it feels too dry add a little more water, and if it's a little too much on the sticky side add a little more flour.
• Pour a little oil on your worktop. Spread it out with your hand, and then turn the dough out onto the greased surface. 
• Knead for about 8-10 minutes. Don't worry if it doesn't feel quite so elasticy as normal bread dough. Grease a clean bowl and place the dough in it, and cover with greased clingfilm.
• Place the bowl in a warm, draught-free place to rise. This usually take about 2 to 3 hours depending on how cold the day is. When it is ready it should have doubled in bulk and visibly risen up from the bottom of the bowl.
• Give the dough a punch to knock out the air, and then turn onto the work surface again. Knead briefly for a few minutes.
• Grease a 900g loaf tin.
• Shape the dough into a smooth-sided, oval-shaped round. Do this by rolling it gently back and forth on the worktop into a rugby ball shape before gently pressing it down with the palms of your hands.
• Transfer the dough to the loaf tin , gently pressing it down so it fits snugly in,
• Cover with greased cling film once more and leave to prove for about 1 to 1 and a half hours until risen and doubled in size once more. As before, leave it in a warm, draught free place to do this. 
• Preheat the oven to 210c/190 c fan. Gently remove the clingfilm from the bread and place in the oven. bake for 25 - 30 minutes, until risen and cooked. To test for doneness, tap the loaf on the base with your knuckles - it should sound hollow inside. 
• Remove from the oven and turn out on a wire rack to cool. Wrap in a clean, dry tablecloth if you like your crust nice and soft. 
• The bread is absolutely gorgeous eaten warm, but is is equally scrumptious toasted...slice your loaf into chunky, thick slices with a bread knife once it's cold if you want to use it for toast. It's best eaten on the day it was made, though if you are toasting it it should be fine for one or two days afterwards. Freeze any remaining slices and reheat in the microwave as required! :) 

Chocolate oat cookies!! :)

As you all know I am somewhat partial to the odd oaty cookie with my hot choc...but of course I am equally a fan of the classic chocolate chip cookie with its thick studs of plain, milk or white chocolate, and the chewy, scrumptiously sweet cookie dough. And so, on this wet, windy March day here in Ireland, I had plenty of time to bbe as experimental with my baking as I liked, and so my mission hereby was, of course, to see if i could unite both oaty and chocolate chip cookie in one delightful little biccie. The resulting cookies still had the pleasing crunchiness of my favourite oaty treats, but were made ever the more irresistible by the addition of an assortment of chocolate chips., and the flavouring of the cookie dough itself with just a wee bit of melted dark choc... ;)

And need I mention these little bites accompany tea/coffee/hot choc ;) all too well??? <3 xxxx

Ingredients (for about 20 yummy cookies! :) <3

• 75 g plain chocolate
• 1 large egg, beaten
• 125 g butter, softened
• 125 g light muscovado sugar
• 100 g porridge oats
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 125 g plain flour
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tbsp cocoa powder
• 250 g plain chocolate, chopped into small chunks or chips.

Method :)

• Preheat the oven to 180c/160c fan. Line two or three baking trays with baking paper. 
• Soften the butter in a bowl with an electric mixer or a wooden spoon until very soft. Tip in the sugar and beat until light and fluffy.
• In a jug, beat the egg lightly with a fork. Add  the vanilla to the egg and mix well.
• Gradually, bit by little bit, add the beaten egg into the creamed mixture, scraping down the sides of the bowl every now and again, until it is all nicely incorporated.
• Place the 75 g plain chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Allow to melt, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat once melted and let it cool for a few minutes. 
• Sift together the flour, baking powder and cocoa. Gently fold this into the creamed mixture along with the oats and melted chocolate. Use a large metal spoon to do this, twirling it up, across and down through the cookie dough in a figure-or-eight pattern. Finally, mix in the chocolate chunks or chips.
• Now you need to transfer balls of the cookie dough to the prepared trays. Scoop up a dessertspoonful of cookie dough and place on a tray, shaping it into a rough ball shape using your fingers or the spoon. Repeat with the rest of the cookie dough until it is all used up. Make sure the balls are spaced well apart to allow room for spreading.
• Bake the cookies for 12-15 minutes.  They should still be slightly soft, not hard. 
• Leave them on the trays for about 5 minutes once you've removed them from the oven, and then carefully transfer them to a wire rack with a metal spatula. And of course, any remaining cookies (if any!!! ;) can be stored in an airtight tin for up to a week. :) xxxx

Ever So Lemony Buns!! :)

Following my posting of one of my all-time favourite recipes, Granny's Lemon Cake, back in December, (Click HERE to see my recipe!!! ;) ) I thought today I would share with you another baked creation which inevitably combines intense lemony moistness with irresistible cuteness. This baked creation being of course, the aptly named Ever-So-Lemony Bun, a scrumptious, airy, light-as-a-fairy cupcake which provides the perfect accompaniment to a large cup of tea on a chilly spring evening, or maybe for a nice little treat after dinner with a dollop of fresh, warm custard. ;)

Ingredients (makes 9 cupcakes :) )

• 80 g butter/margarine, softened
• finely grated zest of 2 lemons
• 2 medium eggs
• 180 g self-raising flour
• 5 tbsp full-fat milk
• 90 g caster sugar
• 90 g light brown soft sugar
• apricot jam to glaze

Method :)

• Preheat the oven to 180c/fan 160 c and line a muffin pan with 9 paper cases (cupcake or muffin, not bun or fairy cake ones - the latter are too small!! :o
• Beat the butter or the margarine in a large bowl until very soft, and then add the eggs, the milk, the flour and the two sugars. Beat well for about 3 minutes until well incorporated.  After 2 minutes pause the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl before resuming mixing, so there is no mixture wasted.
• Fold in the lemon zest with a large metal spoon, and then Divide the cake batter equally amongst the 9 cupcake cases. 
• Bake for about 20 minutes until risen and golden. Leave the cakes in the muffin tray for about 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
• When the cakes are cool, gently heat a couple of tablespoons of apricot jam in a saucepan. Brush a little of the warmed jam over the top of each cupcake to make a sticky, shiny glaze. 

Apple crumble cupcakes!! ;)

Apple and cinnamon...ahh, the two of them are just made for each other, aren't they? Once autumn comes round and cooking apples start plopping down from the heavily-laden fruit trees and accumulating themselves on the soft, leaf-covered ground - seemingly begging to be utilised in some scrumptious way - the door of the little cupboard in the corner of my kitchen which houses my well-stocked stash of spices and herbs may find itself bbeing opened more frequently than usual; with several cannisters of my favourite-ever spice having been placed at the very front of this said cupboard for ease of access. ;) Apple pie, apple crumble, apple cake, apple turnovers...the list of possibilities when it comes to putting cooking apples to good use in the bakery is endless. If only the same could be said for the seemingly never-ending supply of cooking apples from the orchard. For before we know it, autumn is over, and we're back to mud-stained wellies, broken umbrellas from  gale-strong winds, and endless flickings of the kettle switch in order for yet another pot of tea to be put on to brew, for yes, it sure is bloody freezin' out there today chucks!!!. Ahh, just some of the many joys of winter at Derryguile House. ;)

But one thing about this lovely, but rather nippy time of the year  that does not fill me with enthusiasm is the fact that beneath those very trees which, only a few months ago, were literally groaning with the weight of so many gorgeous apples, now nothing at all remains, save perhaps the odd shrivelly mushroom or some sort of tough-stemmed weed which has some sort of unnatural resistance to wet and cold. No more fresh apples!! And if the case may be that I do get in a rather fruity mood and in the need of something sweet, appley and cinnamonny...well I have to somewhat reluctantly plod down to Tescos in the hope that they will have some nice cooking apples that aren't too miserable-looking. But earlier this week, I had something of a dilemma.I really, really wanted to make something of an appley-cinnamony kind...but there was not one cooking apple to be found in Tesco or Lidl. But before I could resign myself to despair and defeat...a-ha.... what was to be found at the very back of yet another one of my bottomless cupboards?? A jar of Coleman's apple sauce!!! ;)

And so I rustled up these scrummy little buns, with the limited ingredients I had...but I reaped very fruitful rewards from my experimenting indeed. I ended up with a batch of golden, lightly-spiced, seductively moist and totally irresistible little cupcakes which, when eaten warm from the oven with a splodge of custard on the side, make the perfect treat for a cold winter's evening. <3

Ingredients :)

For the crumbly topping...

• 50 g plain flour
• 45 g butter, diced
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 50 g demerara sugar

For the cupcakes...

• 150 g self-raising flour
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 90 g demerara sugar
• 60 g margarine, softened
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• A 280 g jar (or around that ;) ) of good quality, chunky apple sauce
• 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda

Method :)

1. Preheat the oven to 180 c/160 c fan. Put 14 paper bun cases in fairy cake tins.
2. Make the crumble mix first. Dice the butter into small cubes. In a bowl, stir together the plain flour, the cinnamon and the 50 g demerara sugar. Lightly Rub the diced butter into this mix using your fingertips.
3. next, make the cupcakes: beat the margarine in a bowl with an electric mixer until very soft, then add the demerara sugar and mix well for a couple of minutes until fluffy. 
4. Sift the flour and cinnamon together in a separate bowl.
5. Add about one quarter of the beaten egg, along with a small spoonful of the sifted flour mix. Beat well until incorporated.
6. Repeat the process, adding a quarter of the egg and a spoonful of flour at a time, and beating well between each of the additions, until all of the egg has been used up.
7. Empty the jar of apple sauce into a deep bowl. Add the bicarbonate of soda to the apple, and mixwith a spoon. Be careful as it will fizz up!
8. Spoon half of the apple sauce into the cake batter, and then add half of the remaining sifted flour. Fold gently in with a large metal spoon. 
9. repeat with the remainder of both the apple sauce and the flour.
10. Distribute the cake batter equally amongst the paper cases in the fairy cake tins. Add a sprinkling of crumble mix to the top of each, pressing down very gently with your fingers.
11. Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes, until risen and golden. Leave them in the tins for abbout 5-10 minutes before very carefully transferring to a wire rack to cool. :) xxx

Thank YOU so, so much :) xxx and a little sneak peek at the Cocoa Stains 2015 will bring to my Apron! ;)

I can't express how touched I was by the meaningful, lovely comments written on my last post in which I invited you to respond as to what you would like to see more of on My Cocoa Stained Apron. How can I thank you enough? <3 Well, i can't, really, of course, except say it right here, once again: thank you so, so SO much!!!! (x100000000) I know some might think I'm crazy for getting so excited and emotional about something like this, but do I mind? Of course not ;) maybe I am crazy...in a good way, of course. Is there anyone in my vicinity who is as crazy about baking as me? I don't think so! ;)

thanks to all of YOU, my special readers, I now have a clearer idea of how I am going to go about making My Cocoa Stained Apron even better (and even more chocolatey ;) ) in 2015. I thought I would just give you a quick outline before I proceed ever further, of the sort of things I would be posting about in the next few months - or should I say, year. ;)

• I will continue to write my personal posts, in which I will describe the steps I am currently taking in my battle to overcome my eating disorder. In these posts, I outline the fears and anxieties I face, the challenges I hope to overcome, the changes and achievements I am looking to make. These posts also serve, for me, to charter my progress in recovery, from sickness to health.
• In addition to my personal posts in which I talk about my own experiences, I also think I might try to write some advice posts. As I mentioned beforehand, I wondered whether I was really in a position to do this, since I still have alot more work to do in striving to recover from my eating disorder. But I have thought about it and yes, I believe I do have some advice to give, to people who have suffered in a similar way as I have.
• And then there will be the odd baking post! Each time I bake I am going to try to be a bit more creative and original, and if I'm happy with the result and think it's looks, err, well presentable (the maple syrup oat cookies that I made last week most certainly did NOT match this description!!! :p ) I will post it on here with my own recipe, tips and thoughts. In addition to that I might give the odd post with specific baking tips and tricks and what I call baking secrets. (Just make sure you don't tell anyone... ;) ) . I might also create a new page on my blog called the National Bakery, where I will categorise specific recipes according to their country of origin. I really want to embrace a multicultural way of baking this year and take advantage of the wonderful diversity of baked foods from all around the world. :)
• And also: Morokia! I think I will be blogging a bit more about Morokia this year, because it's something that, in the next few months, I am very eager to get started on once again; and what with having no college work to deter me over the next few months, I will have plenty of time to reflect on, plan, and write the trilogy that at one time was something which I derived great pleasure and enjoyment from. But I'm determined to rediscover that passion. And so what I might do is, as well as telling you a bit about the context of Morokia and about the story and characters in general, I might include some actual excerpts from the story itself. 
• At the request of another lovely reader, I am also going to compose some posts about Ireland and the Irish way of life. And since the Irish countryside is so beautiful, I will of course post some pretty pics with these posts :)
• And then of course...the odd random post!! Like when I got my little Christmas box from my reader in Germany <3 - times like that, when I feel like I am literally bursting with a combination of different emotions, I just can't stop myself from hastily opening up my laptop and expressing my feelings through writing on my blog! :)

So that's a little outline of what I'm going to be doing from now on...though if you have any other ideas, suggestions, comments, feedback - please do let me know; I would love to hear from you :)

 (me blogging this summer...haha terrrrrrrrible pic :p )

What do YOU want me to blog about? :)

Another rather random post!!! But I had to ask and I would be so, so pleased if you could perhaps let me know what you think about this :) <3

When I started writing My Cocoa-Stained Apron, I never, ever really expected to get any readers/followers. But contrary to my expectations...I know now, people do read my blog. I have readers...who have become more than just readers to me. rather, I think of you, my readers, as dear, special friends, who motivate me and help me to push myself forward whenever I feel lost or useless or hopeless, or that I really cant' go on.

Anyway, before I get all emotional and gushy again as I normally tend to do!! - I just wanted to put this question out to you all...that question being, as suggested by the title of this post...what do YOU want me to blog about? What posts do you think I should try to write more of...what do you find the most interesting? What kind of blog would you like My Cocoa-Stained Apron to be?

Up to this point, I suppose, my blog has been a bit a sort of hybrid blog in which I share my own favourite baking recipes, while simultaneously recording and reflecting on my experiences of an eating disorder - what I went through when I was sick, the steps I made towards recovery, my own personal thoughts, feelings and fears. yet I today I wondered if there was anything more I could do to improve my blog, to make it more engaging for you. Do you have any advice/thoughts? Or should I pretty much carry on as I have been doing up to this point?

My own stance on it is, well, I think the combination of both culinary and personal works well, and gives me both stimulation and a sense of creativity in organising both. Sometimes I think I would like to do a bit  more work on the baking side of My Cocoa-Stained Apron - along the lines of focusing on experimenting with different recipes traditional to specific countries of the world, sharing my own tips and advice as a baker, etc. But then I sway more towards the concentrating on the part of My Cocoa-Stained Apron which deals with the story and recovery of the girl with an eating disorder. I love writing my baking posts, but at the same time, I find writing about my eating disorder is in itself an enormous help to me in so many different ways - and perhaps to others, too.

As well as my personal posts, I often consider doing posts in which I give advice and so forth...but then I stop myself again ; because I am uncertain as to whether I am in a position to give such advice, since I am not, well,fully  recovered , so to speak. Though perhaps, I still do have something valuable to offer people.

And then of course there is Morokia...would you like to hear more about my trilogy? And if I get round actually writing it...should I include some excerpts on here? :)

And so....what do YOU think? I would be so, so grateful for any comments/advice/thoughts. 

And, as always...Thank you so, so much for reading My Cocoa Stained Apron, everyone <3 You have no idea how much this means to me. :)

Black forest gateau!!!

This is yet another post I dedicate to a special reader <3 it's my own version of the famous Black Forest Gateau - that spectacular, extremely rich, and tantalizingly tempting chocolate cake which originates (I think? ;) ) in the Rhinelands of Germany, and which marries sweet sticky cherries, lashings of whipped cream, and, of course, a substantial quantity of some form of chocolate based icing (haha...well at least the Ganache-Elf's version does. ;) ) in one beautiful, show-stopping cake.

Now if you are a purist baker, you might not approve of my adaptation of Deutschland's most famous - and,arguably, yummiest - dessert. Cherry liquer is often used in Black Forest Gateua, as are fresh cherries - not glace ones!! Haha, I suppose this is sort of a budget Black Forest Gateau, right? But is there any compromise on taste and aesthetic appeal? No, of course not. ;)

Ingredients :)

For the cake:

• 200 g self-raising flour
• 225 g caster sugar
• 225 g margarine/butter, softened
• 4 large eggs
• 4 large tbsp cocoa powder
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1-3 tbsp full-fat milk

For the filling and icing - 

• 300 ml single cream
• 100 g plain chocolate
• 75 g glace cherries. halved

1. Make the sponge first: preheat the oven to 180 c/160 c. Grease two 20 cm sandwich tins and line the bases with baking paper.
2. measure the butter/margarine into a large bowl and beat with an electric mixer until very soft.
3. Place the 4 tbsp cocoa powder in a small separate bowl and add about 5 tbsp hot water to get a chocolatey paste of about the same consistency as margarine.
4. Add the eggs, the caster sugar, the flour, the baking powder to the softened butter and then add the cocoa. Mix well with an electric mixer for about 2 minutes; before pausing the mixer and scraping down the sides of the bowl with a large metal spoon. Resume mixing for another minute until smooth and well-blended.  
5. Spoon up some of the batter and let it fall back into the bowl to check it is of a nice, soft, dropping consistency. Add 1 - 3 tbsp of milk, a tbsp at a time, if it seems a little on the thick side. 
6. Divide the batter equally amongst the two tins and smooth the surface with the back of a spoon.
7. Bake for 20 – 30 minutes in the preheated oven until the sponges are well-risen and spring back beneath the fingertip when pressed gently on the top. If an indent is left when you do this, bake for a few minutes more before testing again.
8. Leave in the tin for a few minutes before turning out onto a wire rack, peeling off the paper and leaving to cool.
9. Make the dark choc ganache by melting the 100g plain chocolate with 100 ml of the single cream, on a very low heat in a small saucepan. Stir until smooth and then refrigerate for about 1 ½ - 2 hours, checking after 1 ½ hours…you don’t want it very hard, just a nice spreadable consistency.
10. When the gancahe is ready, whip the remaining 200 ml  cream until it forms soft peaks - be careful not to overbeat. 
11. Stand one of the cooled sponges on a plate. Spread the whipped cream generously over its top. 
12. Divide the halved glace cherries, cut side down, in the layer of cream, pressing them down gently as you go. Try to distribute them at regular intervals so a nice even pattern can be seen when you cut it. Place the other sponge on top of the whipped cream.
13. Use a palette knife to swirl most of the ganache over the top of the cake, reserving just a little for piping.
14.  Use the remaining ganache to make pretty swirly rosettes , using a icing bag fitted with a fluted nozzle, on top of the cake. 

The stickiest cupcakes ever!! ;) flapjack buns!!!

I often find I derive great enjoyment from combining things in baking. Of course first and foremost there is the biscuit cake sponge. And then we have the Neo cake. Both of these collaborate cake and biscuit. And then there are these exceptionally sticky, syrupy little buns, which are basically a fluffy, airy cupcake with a splodge of flapjack in each.

Flapjack? Just in case you may not be familiar with this term - for there have been a couple of occasions when I have offered people a flapjack and have received looks of both suspicion and puzzlement. Now I'm afraid I can't explain the origins of this curious name - maybe some Jack in a flap made them, sometime someplace?  - but I can of course tell you a little about what defines a good flapjack. Oats, butter/margarine, syrup and demerara sugar are the basic ingredients; and it's porbably one of the simplest of things to make - it's only a matter of melt, mix and bake. You have to be alittle careful with the baking time, of course - trying to cut, and eat, an overbaked flapjack is somewhat like trying to spread rock-hard butter from the fridge on soft fresh bread - but there can be no denying the fact that nothing quite beats a good, syrupy, crunchy flapjack for dunking in coffee or popping into a lunchbox for nibbling on when you're on the go. ;)

The next time I make flapjacks, I promise I will share my recipe on here - trust me, it's a great little recipe to have in your repertoire. They are ever so quick and cheap to make, they keep quite happily in an airtight tin for over a week, and of course they are just so, so yummy. ;) But today we are talking about flapjack cupcakes, as I just happened to make these yesterday. I was in the mood for a cupcake, you see: but when I opened my baking cupboard and saw the dark green can of Lyle's golden syrup sitting temptingly at the very front, the newly opened bag of demerara propped right next to it, my heart melted with nostalgia as my mind wandered back to the days of my early baking, when I would spend hours upon end in the kitchen, uncovering the secrets of the arts of baking for myself; whipping batch upon batch of those bakes most suitable for the novice baker - currant-studded queen cakes; soft white scones;  and, of course, the inevitable flapjack in all it's gorgeous golden-syrupy glory. And so, what to do - how could I compromise and satisfy both my cupcake craving and flapjack fancy? The result of my deliberations was, of course, the flapjack bun: quite likely the most sticky cupcake I have ever made for quite some time - and, even more likely, the most scrumptious. :)

Ingredients (makes 8 cupcakes :) )

• 50 g porridge oats
• 95 g margarine
• 1 large tbsp golden syrup
• 45 g demerara sugar
• 1 large egg
• 50 g light brown soft sugar
• 50 g self-raising flour

Method :)

1. Preheat oven to 190c/170c fan and put 8 cupcake cases in a bun tin.
2. Put 45 g of the margarine in a small saucepan and add the syrup and the demerara sugar. Use a heated tbsp to meansure the syrup as this makes it alot easier to handle. Put the saucepan over a very low heat until the margarine has melted. Pour in the oats and mix together well.
3. Put the remaining margarine in a bowl and bbeat with an electric mixer or wooden spoon until very soft.
4. Add the light brown soft sugar and beat well for about 3 minutes until soft and fluffy.
5. beat the egg in a jug lightly. Pour about a quarter into the bowl with a small spoonful of flour. Beat together well until incorporated, and then add another quarter of the beaten egg with another spoonful of flour. beat again and repeat the process until all the egg has been used up.
6. Sieve in the remaining flour and fold in with a metal spoon. Add a few drops of water, if necessary, if the batter is not quite of a nice soft dropping consistency. 
7. Divide the cake batter amongst the 8 cupcake cases. Then, divide the flapjack mixture in the saucepan amongst the cupcakes, spooning it over the top of each one.
8. bake for about 20 minutes, until golden, but not too dark.
9. leave to cool for abbout 5 mins, and then transfer to a wire rack to cool.

WARNING: you might require a wee spoon when you go to eat your cupcake(s ;)), if you don't like having sticky fingers!!! ;)

My 2015 new year resoultions!! :) :D

I know this is sort of random...but I thought I would just share my new year's resolutions with you! ;) And some of them are after all related to what my blog is all about - that being, of course, recovery and cooking/baking.

And can I just take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very, very happy new year <3 I hope that 2015 will be a happy, healthy and enjoyable year for you, full of smiles and fun and good times, and all those special moments which make our lives so magical. :)

Anyway, in no particular order....

Ganache-Elf's 2015 New Year Resolutions. :)

1. To fight even harder against my eating disorder, and strive to reach full recovery.
2. To become even better at cooking/baking!! :) And to get lots of variety into what I make. This year I am determined to be more organised and plan what I am going to do at the beginning of each week - no more going to the cupboard like I did the other day, set on making a cherry cake...only to find not only am I appallingly low on glace cherries - shock, HORROR!! How could I have ran out of one of my baking cupboard's essentials?? - but I also didn't have any ground almonds. 
3. To be tidier!! haha..something my mam is always giving out to me about ;)
4. To continue to develop my Cocoa-Stained Apron ;) I really want to try to write at least one post a day! :)
5. To write Morokia!! :)
6. To focus more on the "crafty" things I enjoy too - ie. knitting scarves (and maybe sometime in the future....HATS :p ) and painting by numbers. :)
7. To cook, and try, new foods! To experiment with different cuisines.
8. I would really like to try and learn a bit of a new language... Spanish I have a teency (and I MEAN teency ;) bit of. so I wouldn't mind learning more of that. Or perhaps piciking up French or Irish again...I learnt these two languages in school, but as is often the case when you aren't regularly practising a language, exposing yourself to it on a weekly basis through speech and written word, then all that vocabulary and grammar you committed to memory is forgotten. Or maybe an entirely different one? German perhaps? ;)
9. To volunteer in my local community - something I have never done before, but which I have always aspired to do. I particularly would like to work with children or elderly people.

I might make more of these, but now it's time for breakfast and I can't think of anymore for the present. Happy new year everyone <3