At first glance it might seem that I am just a happy, normal girl who loves to bake and walk her dog. However, I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13. It was only in May 2014 when I realised that this Voice in my head was slowly but surely trying to kill me. And so began the long, hard, and painful journey which is recovery...

I want My Cocoa Stained Apron to be a special place...a place for reflection, memories, shared stories...and of course a little bit of cocoa-staining ;) Recovery might be the hardest thing you ever choose to do in this life. But it is also the bravest and best decision you will ever make.:)

Monday, 18 May 2015

Places I would Love to see in my Lifetime!!! :)

Before I commence with Day 9 of the recovery challenge...i just had to join in my dear little friend across the North Sea, Ange <3 , in compiling a list of the places we would love to see or visit in our lifetime!!

I found doing this so fun and exciting, as well highly motivational - After all, it is important to be fully aware that in order to travel and explore all these fascinating, beautiful, unique or extraordinary places, one must be well enough to do so...and also, of course, the expereince will never, ever be fully enjoyed if you are still holding on to your eating disorder. And this is something which I am constantly reminding myself of, as I look toward the summer ahead of me and all the lovely plans I have made. I know, that if I let that Voice in my head control me, dictate my every move...then instead of laughter and joy and that pure, unbroken, true happiness which makes your heart sour within your chest and a rosy glow spread over your, in replacement of that there will be anxiety, apprehension, tears, and fearfulness. Too many holidays, trips, journeys and special times, have been ruined by my eating disorder...and I never, ever want this to happen, ever, ever again.

So here we own wee (or maybe not so wee.. ;) ) list of the places I want to see before I die:

  • Canada. I think the landscape opf this huge country looks absolutely spectacular..the mountains, the forests, the lakes...and then of course there is all the fabulous wildlife to be seen there..moose, wolves, bears, and so much more. I would love love love to bvisit this stunning country <3
  • Mallorca..haha I know, I've been here for a few times at this stage. But I will never, ever tire from visiting this stunning island off the coast of Spain. It surely is one of my most favourite places on earth. I literally fell in love with gorgeous Mediterranean scenery...I have a bit of a love relationship with that, ever since I first visited Mallorca. The groves of olive and citrus trees, the goats and cows and sheeps with the little bells around their necks which tinkle softly when they move, the narrow streets of the villages with their tiny bakeries and dainty cafes with the parasols open over each table...all of it just has a quintessential charm which couldnt be found anywhere else on earth <3

  • Italy. Italy attracts me for many reasons of course. The historical stuff, the landscape, the weather, the mountains and the cities and the heavenly ice creams. Italy just has it all really it seems. ;) 
  • Florida. Well of course...Disneyland Orlando...I have dreamed of going there ever since I was a little girl. I am an avid Disney fan after all, and I just, well, love rollercoasters, haha. And there really is something magical about enchanted sort of feel which simply can't be found in any other place in the world <3
  • Germany. I've never been to Germany but again, it looks so fascinating. I particularly would love to see the beautiful fairytale Castles there (as you all know I am a bit of a medievalist at heart ;) ) and also visit some of the cities such as Munich..and of course a certain special little friend who lives near there.. ;) 
  • Australia. Again another magnificent country I would love to go to. I would love to swim the sapphire blue waters of the great Barrier Reef and see all the Nemos and Dorys in their natural habitat... ;) and I would love to see Ayers Rock, Sydney, Brisbane and the rainforests. And I'm sure there's loads more to Australia than just that.
  • Wales. I've been to the smallest country of the island of Britain a few times, but for fondness for it seems to augment following every single visit.  Wales is so, so lovely. I adored the Snowdonia mountains, the quaint little villages, the railways, the splendid castles and fantastic coastal scenery.
  • New Zealand. Sofar away, but, having watch the Lord of the Rings and been told it was filmed in New Zealand, I feel compelled to go there for myself. It looks incredible!! And hey there are penguins and kiwis and lots of other animals there <3 it's not a country I know that much about, but still this aura of mystery surrounding it makes me want to go there even more!!!
  • Scotland. Again, the history, the landscape, the wildlife. The rugged wildness of the Scottish highlands hold a sort of spellbinding effect over me. And then of course there are lots of castles, lakes, glens, and forests. A breathtaking coastline, a beautiful capital city, hundreds of windswept little isles and islets to explore. It's one gem of a place. <3
  • Another dear friend told me about Russia and it also sounds amazing, so I am adding Russia to my list too!
  • There are many parts of England that I really want to visit somet ime in the future, too: in particular, Cornwall, Kent, Cumbria. And back to my homeland, too, of course, Kent, the Garden of England <3 
  • Sweden also looks very aesthetic too. As do all the other Scandinavian countries..ok let's just say I would love to go to all of them!!! :p
  • California can never have had enough of the Golden State <3 
  • Austria also looks really nice and I love the Alpine setting <3
Please don't hesitate to join in...what about YOU? Where do you really want to go to during your lifetime? Please comment or link your blog below!! <3


  1. Wooooow hunniiiiii....<3 I was so so touched by this blog entry ;) I am such a huge fan of our blog challenges and your one is so beautifully written in your very own typical lovely style *_* All the words you use for the different countries suiiiiiit so perfect and immediately make me wanna go there ;) as fast as even possible :)
    Omg huuuun *_* and you definitively have to come to Germany to visit me ;) I think I know who you mean by saying this and this is so wonderful :)
    And something I am absolutely sure of is, that you ARE going to see all of these places, because I know you are strong enough to win the fight against Miss Mager ;) Love u so muuuch xxx

    1. Aww thanks huni!! :* heehee and you are so right hun of course I mean my special Nutella-loving girlee in Augsburggggg <3 yes we are BOTH strong enough to fight Miss Mager hun and when we aren't feeling quite so strong or brave we will always have eachother hun to turn to for support <3 Love you so so much too huni :* xxx

    2. Hahaaa this is so so sweet *_* I am alwaaaays so thankful for all of your support my dear, this is such an incredible feeling having such a special friend over there on the Emerald Isle :) this is just wonderful <3 Love u baaack so much xxx

    3. :* <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. Yayy Wales, you can come and stay with me if you're ever visiting the country again! X

    1. <3 oh Annie do you live in Wales? Oh I absolutely love Wales it is one of my favourite places on earth it's so beautiful!! What part do you live in? Awww that is so sweet of you I would love to come and visit you ! <3 xXxXx

    2. Yeaahh I live in Wales! Little rainy lovely Wales! I live in the North, about an hour or so from Snowdonia, in a tiny little town called Ruthin. Come visit anytime! I'd love to travel the world with you, all the places you've put you want to visit, I want to visit too! I'd love to just go and travel but anorexia stops me I think. XXX

    3. Snowdonia..oh I loved Snowdonia so so much Annie <3 and that so sweet of you thank you so so much I would love to <3 do you write a blog? Are you finding recovery difficult or engaging in treatment? I really hope things are going ok for you <3 don't be afraid to get in touch with me anytime! I would love to help anyway I can. xxx

    4. Snowdonia can be very beautiful! Yes, this is my blog address:

      I'm finding recovery incredibly difficult to be honest, so much so I don't know whether I consider myself to be fully in recovery, but I would like to be. Thank you so much for the offer, that's so very kind of you lovely! And I'm here for you if ever you want anything! Take care xxx

    5. <3 thank you hun <3 I am very, very sad to read you are struggling, Annie. If there is anything I can do for you , please let me know.

      I can see clearly though that you want to recover and though it might not seem that much to you, please know that this is the first crucial step. You could be in denial about your condition and refusing help, but you are not. Are you seeing a therapist or a counsellor? I will take a look at your log later on. take care Annie and stay strong for me. Thinking of you and sending you all my love and best wishes! xxx

    6. Yeah I'm desperate to recover! I hate this illness so much, sooo much! I've started seeing a therapist, but it's very early days, I've only had one appointment.

      Take care too! Sending love and hugs xxx