But I did it.
Finally, I think I have truly found, that inner strength which was hidden deep inside me, all along.
I'm just hoping now that the bloating won't be as bad tomorrow - it completely ruined by appetite today, and I did struggle, I did experience alot of anxiety, even more so than under normal circumstances. There were several instances today when I thought, no, I can't do it. This is too hard, too hard. Surely restriction is easier than this.
But, this time, it was me, not ED, who was the stronger one.
I did indeed draw on my little list of ED fighting tools here as I discussed in a previous post..talking back to the ED voice, reminding myself of the promise I had made to
Now its time for my weekend goals...what are yours??? Feel free to share them with me ;) <3
- Sunday is scone day!! ;) so i will have a scone with my hot choc in the afternoon again.
- to stick to meal plan 100%, even if the bloating is still bad :( (really, really hoping that it wont be :'(
- for breakfast tomorrow have a slice of my own yummmy spelt bread <3 toasted with 2 tsp peanut butter :)
- have ham in my roll on saturday, and thensunday, either egg mayo or tuna mayo
- oh..that can be another goal actualy. to increase the amount of pb..because its true, 2 tsp realy isnt that much at all. so i might go for 2 tsp PLUS this weekend..see how i get on. The aim ultimately is to not measure it any more but for now I am just working on erasing my fear about eating it.
- apparently, its going to be gale force winds and heavy rain here, all day tomorrow :'( and so, this will mean I probably won't be able to venture too far with Benny :'( but I am going to try very, very hard to not get anxious about this, and not find myself getting grumpy and panicky about not getting as much walking done as I usually would... Thankfully, I have some useful distractions at hand to help me with this. a.) i am currently knitting a scarf fro my friend's xmas present which needs to e done for monday when i see her...so plenty of clicking and clacking of needles will take place tomorrow. b.) its time for the Ganache-Elf to perform the very elf-befitting tasks of wrapping presents and making mince pies, all of which I intend to perform tomorriow ;) and c.) we are putting up the tree..so so excited, its one of my favourite xmas rituals of all <3