A dear friend once told me, that anything really is possible, if you believe. And this I have adopted as a little life philosophy, in a way. If you believe you will recover, you will. If you believe you can live the life you love and make all of your dreams come true...you can, and you will!! Nothing is impossible!!
And so today, here is a wee list of what I would like my life to be like, in 10 years time...
- First and foremost, of course...I want to be completely and totally recovered from my eating disorder. I want my anorexia to be nothing but a memory to me, the memory of which I will use to spread awareness and help educate others about the signs, symptoms, effects and consequences of eating disorders.
- Of course, by that time, I would love to think that I would be employed...as a primary school teacher. The career path which I had always looked towards with longing, but had convinced myself that i was not good enough for. But now I see the error of my ways. I know that if I am prepared to put myself out there, study hard, and push myself out of my comfort zone, I have everything it takes to be a great teacher. I am kind, caring, patient and adore kids. All I need is a bit more self-confidence, something which I have been trying to build upon every day. And, of course, I know that being a primary school teacher with an eating disorder is NOT going to be an option for me. Looking back now I can see the devastating toll my eating disorder took on me in terms of my intellectual abilities. My memory, my concentration, my ability to study were all adversely effected. I know that I will only ever be able to follow my dream if I am fully, not partially, recovered.
- Volunteering is something which I am planning to start doing this summer (in fact it was only today when I actually marched myself down to the office in Portlaoise to talk to the lady in charge of Laois Volunteering and get the necssary forms from her!!! ) and is something which I intend to keep up for many years yet to come. I would like to think that perhaps in around ten years time I will be able to perhaps volunteer abroad too.
- In ten years time, I fully intend to be well enough to go for long hikes in the walking hot spots of the world. Snowdonia, Scotland, the Lake and Peak Districts, the Kerry Way and the Alps, maybe even the mountains of Canada..? ;) And I sincerely hope that in 10 years time I will most certainly have ticked off a good few places on my Destination list !!! ;)
- I also hope that in 10 years time I will have further perfected my baking skills, of course!! Yet another list I have (which I MUST share with you sometime actually!!) is my to-bake list haha, which is basically a never-ending, never-to-completed piece of literature!!! :p
- I often think to myself...in 10 years time...what sort of person will I be? Well, I hope that in 10 years time, I will have completely detached my own identity from my eating disorder, and that I will have the courage to be...just me. Simply me, Emmy Snelgrove, not Emmy with an eating disorder, not Emmy who is trying to be perfect, or trying to change herself, or trying to be someone else. Just...Me.