And it makes me both proud and happy to say that, since May 2014, I have climbed many, many of those steps already. I've learnt to swallow my anxiety and try out many of the foods which at one time I would never even have dreamt of touching, let alone eating. I conquered my obsession with excessive exercising, I made myself eat snacks with my hot chocolate, despite the fact that, at one time, I would have seen those two things as a meal in itself. This, and so, so much more...but I know I still have many more goals which I need to achieve before I can open my arms and embrace the wonderful, glorious victory which is full recovery.
For once we've started climbing this steep, tall, rocky mountain which is recovery, we can't just stop halfway up that slippery, precarious slope. We have to keep pushing, we have to keep trying, we have to keep going, no matter how weak, scared, tired or afraid we may be. and it's perfectly ok, to go slowly, to go carefully. It's okay to feel terrified and dizzy as you look back and see how high you have reached, how far you have come. But the most important thing is to keep going, no matter what. To never, ever give up, until you reach the very top of that mountain, so you can stand and admire that beautiful view. :)
- To clean my plate, bowl, pot, cup etc after every single meal :)
- To say thank you after every single one of my meals and show how much I enjoyed and appreciated it :)
- To try even more yummy new things :)
- To challenge my ED thoughts and instincts; to question what the voice has established as "truths", but what often are, in reality, falsities....for example...do I really dislike cabbage cooked in butter? Or do I like it really? Is it the ED telling me that I don't like things cooked in butter because of the extra calories?? etc. :)
- To go with my "gut instinct" and choose what I genuinely want to eat when given a choice of foods. Not what my ED thinks I should have; rather, what I, not the voice, feels tempted by. :)