At first glance it might seem that I am just a happy, normal girl who loves to bake and walk her dog. However, I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13. It was only in May 2014 when I realised that this Voice in my head was slowly but surely trying to kill me. And so began the long, hard, and painful journey which is recovery...

I want My Cocoa Stained Apron to be a special place...a place for reflection, memories, shared stories...and of course a little bit of cocoa-staining ;) Recovery might be the hardest thing you ever choose to do in this life. But it is also the bravest and best decision you will ever make.:)

Friday, 10 April 2015

You are my Inspiration...:)

Me and one of the most inspirational people in my life...that being, of course, my wonderful, one-of-a-kind Mam <3

This was a rather difficult blog challenge to compile , for truly, there are so many wonderful, amazing people both in and outside of my life, who inspire me and fill me with hope every single day by their love, their dedication, their strength, their sense of hope.

Before I begin I just wanted to say this. To every single one of my family and friends out there... I just wanted to thank you with all myheart...and let you know that YOU are all such a true inspiration to me.

  • First of Mam, who is probably the person who inspires me most of all. She is so, so much more than a mother to me. She has cared for me from the day I was born and nurtured me through the delicate years of my youth. she has always, always been there for me...even when it seemed as if everything was hopeless, and I had failed her in every single way I possibly could...she never gave up on me. 
  • My little brother who spent a total of three years undergoing treatment for luekemia. It was a hard, long struggle. But Matt got through it all. He was such a brave little fighter, and, over a decade later on, his courage  and determination never fail to inspire me.
  • My lovely blogging friends from all across the world... I an safely say without hesitation that each and every one of these incredible, amazing girls inspire and motivate me every single day. The stories of their individual struggles have touched my heart in so many different ways, as does their bravery, their persistence, their resolve to never give up and continue forward despite the odds, despite the fear, despite the uncertainty. You inspire me so, so much, know who you are <3
  • My Granny <3 a truly wonderful lady who has the ability to always make me smile and laugh even when my skies are grey. She inspires me so much, in every single little thing that she does. I am so, so lucky to have a granny like her. She is truly amazing, even though she doesn't even realsie it, of course <3 
  • And then, of course...All those amazing, inspirational individuals out there, who are choosing to fight their eating disorder. I know, I don't really know you, and that our oaths might not ever cross in this life. But please know, just ARE an inspiration to me. By choosing to fight, by choosing life over despair and pain, for choosing to believe and never lose hope.
  • The girls I know who have won that battle against that Voice in the head. Words can't express how proud I am of them, how happy I feel for them. They are the living proof that eating disorders can and will be beaten, and their stories of the battles that they fought - and won - against their own demons will never cease to inspire and motivate me.
  • Nurses, doctors, and all those working in the health services to help the all those who are sick to get better and lead happy, healthy lives again.
  • The volunteers and charity workers across the globe who dedicate all of their time and energy into helping those in need.


  1. And you are OUR inspiration Emily! Your courage, dedication and refusal to back down are awe-inspiring. But also, your ability to accept help and your awareness of your own weaknesses make your blog so human. You are the perfect example of someone who knows she can't do this alone and knows there are so many things against her but perseveres anyway because of incredible internal strength and the unwavering belief that a better life is out there. You're a fighter and a superhero and I hope one day you are able to look back and recognize that. Until then we'll just have to keep reminding you :)

    -N xx

  2. <3 thank you so so much hun that is so sweet of you to say it brought tears to my eyes reading this <3 and you too inspire and motivate me so much hun and your comments are just always so lovely <3 Thanks so much again hun <3 xxxx

  3. Wowwwww *_* I am again totally banned by your amazing post hunniiiii <3 this one is so heartwarming and makes so many people feel special and worth recovery=) really made me smile so much reading more of the people that are important in your life and even it is hard putting all into the right words, you made such an inspiring post again, you can be so proud ;) your blog really makes me feel better each time I read one of your posts Emmy :) Love u so much and thank you for everything my dear :) <3 xxx Ange

    1. <3 awww huni :* Thank you so, so much hun <3 as you might have already guessed huni YOU are definitely one of my biggest ever inspirations hun <3 and I am so, so glad my blog helps you feel better too huni <3 that makes me so happy <3 I'm always, always here for you huni <3 I hope you liked my mail ;) Love you hun <3 and you are so welcome hun, it is ME who should be thanking you <3 ;) <3 xxxxxxx

    2. Aaaaaaaaaw*_* this is so soooo lovely and inspiring for me my hunnniiiiiiiii <3 and it makes me feel so unbelievably proud being named as such by U!!!!!! You are such an idol for me and loooooooved your cute mail so much hun ;) I try to answer it as soon as possible my darling ;) Awwwww your words are really so touching for me hun <3 <3 sunny greetings xxx love u so much