every day I looked in the mirror I would still be disappointed by what I saw
and grumble to myself about my lack of height. But then I would admire the slenderness of my legs and the flatness of my belly and assure myself that at least that was alright. I took courage from the fact people would never be able to look at me and say, “She’s fat. She’s a bit on the plump side”. Why did I not look at it in the reverse and say to myself, “Well…they might not be able to say that, but…won’t they be able to say ‘Gosh. She’s way too thin. She looks awful!’” But of course,
to me, there wasn’t anything really wrong with being skinny. Being fat or obese – the thought of that, to me, could only be described as nightmarish, and it was as if I had to remove every single minute possibility of becoming just that one bit chubbier by choosing to eat as little as possible.
- Breakfast: Bowl of cereal and a piece of toast
- Morning snack: Cake or biscuit
- Lunch: sandwich or roll with ham or other filling. Yoghurt and piece of fruit.
- Afternoon snack: bar of chocolate
- Dinner and pudding.
- Hot chocolate before bed.
packets of chocolate delightfulness, sneaking it back in if it wasn’t quite
what my taste buds desired that particular day or in the likelihood that I just wanted to have one of my favourites: these being, if I remember correctly, namely a bar of Galaxy Milk, Cadbury’s Caramel, Maltesers, Galxy Ripple, and various others. I loved them all, though, to be honest.
- Breakfast: Small bowl of cereal with very little milk
- Morning snack: fruit or nothing, or a very small cookie or cake, which I would pick chunks off usually or give away to friends, saying “I don’t want this, please have it”.
- Lunch: sandwich or roll, with very little filling. I sometimes picked out the filling and threw it away. Yoghurt: I began to try and have fat free ones, if I had one at all. Sometimes I wouldn’t eat it and put it back in the fridge when I got home.
- Afternoon: Nothing normally, I pretended I had my usual chocolate but really I didn’t have anything most days.
- Dinner and pudding: I would be as minimalist as possible if I ever got to the chance to serve myself. I often didn’t finish my pudding and would wash or throw away leftovers.
- Hot chocolate: Again I would often, if I thought no one was looking, pour away half the mug.