At first glance it might seem that I am just a happy, normal girl who loves to bake and walk her dog. However, I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13. It was only in May 2014 when I realised that this Voice in my head was slowly but surely trying to kill me. And so began the long, hard, and painful journey which is recovery...

I want My Cocoa Stained Apron to be a special place...a place for reflection, memories, shared stories...and of course a little bit of cocoa-staining ;) Recovery might be the hardest thing you ever choose to do in this life. But it is also the bravest and best decision you will ever make.:)

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Snacks!!! :)

I personally, have always loved snacks so so much - perhaps even more so than the main meals of the day (as you all know I have a bit of a sweet tooth ;), but oftentimes it is actually the snacks I struggle with more than breakfast, lunch or dinner. The reason being that unfortunately I dont always get the support I need when it comes to eating them, like I do with the meals. I am usually left to my own devices at my snack times and this is when ED would try to claim advantage as I was too shy or nervous to ask for help.

As I mentioned before afternoon snack is something which I seem to be managing alright ( though I think there is  a little more room for improvement, too) but i still do find it hard to have something in the morning. :( Every day I tell myself That I will - 'll have a hobnob with my choccie at half 11; at half 10 I'll do myself some soda bread with plenty of peanut butter... but then the moment comes, and I'm so, so close to actually taking that biccie out the pack or lifting off the top of the bread bin...but then, something holds me back, the anxiety takes over, and though I always, always have my hot chocolate, I equally never can go as far as having something with it, like I would like to. I know some might think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, obsessing over just one snack, but the thing's still a hole in my meal plan. And a little hole, if not fixed or mended in some way, after might turn from a tiny  hole to a small gap, and then a small gap to a big tear. And that is something which I don't want to happen, and am determined to prevent with every last bit of strength that  I have.

And so, here is yes, yet another list (im sorry, i know this might be getting so annoying at this stage! :p) for Snack ideas!!!:) Hopefully anyone stuck for inspiration might find these useful, too ;)

  • Mueslibars ( I got a packet of these in Lidl in Pollenca the first day we got here and I LOVE them!! I am really hoping I can get a similar sort of thing once I get home!! The ones I got over there in Mallorca are almond and hazelnut ones are they are divine! And of course they are awesome with hot choc :p heehee
  • Biscuits!! I love biscuits but before the holiday I was sort of avoiding them as well :( but mam bought me some in Mallorca and now I realise just how much I missed them :'( 
  • Scones -  probably one of my favourite ever snacks. I want to give brown scones a go soon, or maybe even cheese ones(i'll share the recipe of course if they're a success ;) 
  • Rye/soda bread and peanut butter - this would usually be my "safe" option but one which I do genuinely am fond of, though I know I need to push myself and move out of my comfort zone once I get home. And also - I am going to say this RIGHT NOW so I have put it out there and actually force myself to do something about it in the process. 
  • Rice pudding - Sorry for mentioning the word rain and cold at this time of the year!!! - but I think when autumn does come around like we all know it will, I might have warm rice pudding as a snack as well (either out of a tin or make my own)
  • Miller Rice - lived on these at the hospital but haven't had a single one since I left even though I love them!! So I might get some of these in me fridge next time I go shoping (or more likely, the Aldi equivalent!!! :p
  • Hot cross buns and teacakes...ok I know it's not Easter but hey, I don't have to put a cross on top on this occasion. Maybe a nice big smiley face instead, and then we will have hot smiley face buns. :p
here are my hot cross buns from easter!! :)
  • Nuts...oh my goodness don't get me started on how fanatical I am about nuts ors you might think that I have gone a bit nutty in the head. :p Roasted, slightly slated cashews are a particular favourite of mine. Though I also love peanuts, pistachios, pecans and walnuts. And they are a great source of protein, too. :)
  • a few tablespoons of homemade granola (so good, and if anyone is interested i will share this one, too) with warm milk. mmm
  • Crackers and peanut butter...ohhhh this one is SUCH a cracker!!! :p a couple of crackers (I especially like the multigrain ones :) sandwiched together with quite possibly the most divine foodie creation ever invented by mankind...??? so good <3
Do you have a favourite snack you wish to share? I would love to hear your ideas <3 Hope you found this helpful if you are feeling a little uninspired at the moment with snacks!! xxx


  1. Oh huuuun <3 thanks for such a helping blog entry ;) I am always thankful for such advice tips according to snacks, as I am struggling with deciding what to take :) I love all of your ideas, especially the musli bars are my one of my faaaaaves as well ;) and for me of course there is my official Nr. 1 snack: a warm Nutella-Toooooooast hun <3 hahaa for the Nutella gal :)
    also I enjoy having some cookies as well as chocolate, ice cream or custard :)
    But as you know hun I am at the moment also snacking on those energy drinks very often :)
    Love u so much hunniiii <3 xxx

    1. awww hunnnn <3 of course how could i forget ithat one hun :o and hot choc with loadsss of marshmallows and choccies on top for the hot choc gal hun ;) the two chocolate-loving, Nutella-smearing and hot-choc sipping girlees ;)
      aww and cookies are amazing hun I love my triple chocolate ones <3 or the plain oat ones so good <3
      And the energy drinks are very important hun too for helping to repair the body and helping with the weight restoration..I know it is so hard to have them hun but it will really help your body to recover and become stronger again <3 im so proud of you hun you are so brave and just remember hun you won't have to have them forever <3 Love you huniiii <3 xxxxxx

  2. I love crispy seaweed thins as a snack...mainly because they are so ridiculously low in calories, but I also love them to bits and have a bit of an obsession with them. Your snacks sound amazing, I wish one day I could eat some of them! Damn you anorexia! Keep up the good snack work, I'm so proud of you! Xoxo

    1. seaweed hun? really? Oh my goodness I musttry those!! Can you get them in the supermarkets here I wonder? Oh hun I truly believe that one day you will <3 please stay strong hun and push yourself to try new foods and snacks, I know you can do it <3 all my love hun take care <3 xxx

  3. Try this link:

    I buy mine from Tesco or Sainsbury's - do you have those supermarkets near you?

    I've recently re-discovered Bovril as a drink...mmm I love that so much! Have you ever tried that?

    We got a new kitten like an hour ago, omg he's so cute, he sends you a big kiss! I'm going to do a blog post about him now if you want to see a photo for a dose of cuteness!

    Hope you're ok lovely! Take loads of care and stay strong always! Loads of love xoxoxox

  4. we have Tesco hun!! I may take a look in there ;) thanks for the link dear!!What is Bovril hun is it like hot chocolate? ;) and oh my goodness I definitely will!! I abbsolutely adore kittens they are just so so adorable <3 you too hun all my love and best wishes <3 xxx

  5. Yay for Tesco! If it's a big enough store they should have it there. It'll be by the savoury biscuits, like cheese biscuits and crackers etc.!

    Bovril is....hmmm how do I's like a beef stock and you drink it like soup I guess! It comes like a marmite form, and you add hot water, or like a stock cube form and you add hot water to make it into a drink. I'm not very good at explaining!

    The kitten (now called Benji!) is sitting in my lap, he's so adorable! He sends you hugs! Xoxoxo

    1. aww hun I looked at the pics of what can i say...Benji. is. ADORABLE.<3 made my heart melt looking at the pictures hun <3 oooh haha I thought it was some sort of hot chocolate-type powder hun!! :p I am not really a fan of beef th
      ough hun so I am not quite sure I would like Bovril!! <3 xxxxx