At first glance it might seem that I am just a happy, normal girl who loves to bake and walk her dog. However, I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13. It was only in May 2014 when I realised that this Voice in my head was slowly but surely trying to kill me. And so began the long, hard, and painful journey which is recovery...

I want My Cocoa Stained Apron to be a special place...a place for reflection, memories, shared stories...and of course a little bit of cocoa-staining ;) Recovery might be the hardest thing you ever choose to do in this life. But it is also the bravest and best decision you will ever make.:)

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Chase your Dreams...:)

Hi everyone!!!

Just another quick (and exciting!!!) update from Ganache-Elf's HQ (ie. the little blue-tiled kitchen here at Derryguile House!!)

As you all know, baking has always been two of my greatest ever joys. Baking is, to me, more than just a simple hobby for passing the time or as a means of saving money on buying shop-bought produce. No: to me, baking is my passion, a commitment and a source of endless enjoyment, pleasure and creativity. Nothing makes me happier then spending a rainy afternoon up to my elbows in flour in my kitchen, pinny on and wooden spoons and battered Kenwood Mixer at the ready. To me, there is something truly special in seeing the delight on the face of a recipient of my home-baked produce; about that moment when the oven door is opened to reveal a beautiful , golden, risen masterpiece inside; or when those gorgeous, homely smells begin to emit from the kitchen to waft all over the house, tickling tastebuds with their heavenly aromas.

But today, with the help and encouragement of my friends, I have discovered that I can take passion for baking that one step further...

My friends and I went for a little picnic up in the mountains yesterday afternoon, armed with various essentials which we knew were indispensable to the success of our adventure. These included three pairs of worn out runners - which, despite being caked in mud with the Nike swoosh or Adidas stripe long been rendered indistinguishable, had withstood the test of time again and again, never failing us when we chose to don them for such mucky expeditions in field or forest or bog. numerous rain jackets and umbrellas, which, despite the innocent blue serenity which had graced the sky as we had initially departed from the house, we knew all too well we would more than likely need upon our journey. you don't really go walking in Ireland without a rain jacket. Not even if its in the middle of the summer, and it feels warm enough outside to wear shorts and a t-shirt: no. it just isn't the done thing, to refrain from bringing rain jackets on a walk in Ireland. And then, of course, there was the most essential item of all. The picnic. ;)

Our picnic consisted of various baked delights, including a freshly-baked crown loaf which I had whipped up earlier that morning, wrapped securely in a tea towel and bundled onto the back seat of the car. With that we had cheeses and peanut butter and tomatoes, and fruit and nuts and of course...sweet things. Oat cookies and cupcakes of various flavours. And it tasted so, so good.

And as we sat at the little picnic table, with the wind gentle rustling the leaves of the beech trees which formed a shady, spring-green canopy above our heads, it suddenly occurred to me - to us, even - that perhaps, I can make all my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations for the future, all come true...

Starting with one that has remained with me for a long, long time, ever since that day when I first put on my little white apron with the canaries on it - the very same apron which I still wear today, with its chocolaty stains and all - and discovered for myself joy, the excitement, the magic of home-baking...

This dream being, of course, to have my very own little baking business, in which I design, bake, and decorate my own edible creations!!! 
And since everyone has to start somewhere, today I set up a little Facebook page called My Cocoa Stained Apron, from which I will be able to provide information and pricing and let people know about my little business. And yes I know, that it might not come to anything, but. I believe that if you have a dream you should follow your heart and chase it...

Be stronger than your excuses; be braver than your fears.
Never, ever stop believing; don't ever lose hope.
Chase your Dreams!! <3 xxx


  1. You look so cute in your apron. Haha. Follow your love of baking. I'd love to spend more time in the kitchen as Iove baking for my kids. You are definitely talented. This sounds like your calling. Love you to bake for my hungry family but we live in Australia.

    1. thanks so much Sonya <3 one thing I know for sure is that we should follow our passion in life. Baking is just so fun, I love the creative side of it and the kids love to get involved too so baking with children is always so special. Aww I wish I could too Sonya :'( if I ever relive my dream of going to Australia I will be sure to get in touch. :) alll my love to you Sonya. xxx