At first glance it might seem that I am just a happy, normal girl who loves to bake and walk her dog. However, I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13. It was only in May 2014 when I realised that this Voice in my head was slowly but surely trying to kill me. And so began the long, hard, and painful journey which is recovery...

I want My Cocoa Stained Apron to be a special place...a place for reflection, memories, shared stories...and of course a little bit of cocoa-staining ;) Recovery might be the hardest thing you ever choose to do in this life. But it is also the bravest and best decision you will ever make.:)

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

I'm back! :) and my apron is as cocoa-stained as ever. :)

Hi everyone! I know, it's been a while... :(
I had an awful feeling that this would happen...that once coll started I wouldn't be able to blog as much :( but this weekend I made a decision -  I AM still going to blog!! Maybe not as much, but there is and will be still time to write my Cocoa-Stained Apron :) my plan is to write little drafts on the train commuting to and from coll...and of course writing out my recipes doesn't take much time or energy, after all. And yes of course I am still baking...oh no, please don't think that my beloved apron has been buried underneath an unsightly pile of doorstopper English texts...Chaucer, Geoffrey of Monmouth and Edmund Burke's Reflections, to name a few. Oh no, of COURSE not - it's more likely the other way round. The apron is more often being unfolded than those books opened I'm afraid ;) and those books are going to be at risk of being cocoa-stained too if I'm not careful...only the other day poor Chaucer's noble face got an unsightly splattering of melted Cadbury Dairy Milk on it. :( my favourite ever blogger Izzy posted a brief summary of my story and linked My Cocoa-Stained Apron too :) and this of course meant that I absolutely HAD to blog tonight. Writing now, I realise how much I really do miss it. It had become part of my summer routine I suppose....towards the end of the holidays, not a day would go past that I didn't post about something.  But as I say, I don't think college should stop me from blogging. I love to blog and I don't want to let a course that I dislike anyway stop me from blogging...I firmly believe that life really IS too short and very, very precious. and for us to not be able to do the things that we love to do best, which makes us happy, which gives us a sense of joy and pleasure and well-being...well, that's not making the most of life. I think revoering from an eating disorder has really opened my eyes up to that, that one simple fact. And I know that blogging makes me happy, and that even though my posts aren't very well written or anything...well, who knows. Perhaps they do mean something to someone, perhaps I really could make a difference in someone's life by my blogging. And so with that in mind, I'm going to wash those sticky fingers of mine once more and squib a few squirts of Fairy on my apron before sitting down with my laptop once again, to give my other Cocoa-Stained Apron...the figurative one, perhaps a good English student would say, but I'm not one of those so I'm not going to call it that. ;) - some long due and much needed attention. ;)

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